Ok, I have a little bit of a rant today,

I don’t understand why people use weird, useless acronyms.

gtg, nm, brb, hbu, nvm, afk, lol, np, rn, rofl, irl, gg, I didn’t even know what most of these meant until I started playing on a Minecraft server and my friends were using the chat bar to talk. And there I am, having no idea what people are saying and feeling like an idiot when I have to ask them to explain their super-cool lingo to me.  And I was like, well they are playing a game right now and it’s hard to stop what you are doing long enough to type a full sentence while you are getting attacked or something. So I let that one go, you are in the middle of a game, you don’t want to stop, fine. I made a point to try to never use the acronyms, instead, I simply learned to type faster than anyone else.

Then I started using iMessage to text my friends, it was exactly the same. I know my friends, I know they aren’t doing anything else right now, it’s not like they are in a rush to say something, they are just too lazy to bother writing stuff out. And while texting they aren’t using a lot of the acronyms because a lot of them are game related, you know, afk, gg, that sort of thing. Instead, they use the abbreviations. They aren’t even acronyms any more, it’s not trying to turn multiple words into one, easier word, they are just shortening perfectly good, real words for no reason.

plz, srry, u, r, y, thx, k
Are you really so lazy that you can’t write the last few letters? Srry, is only missing one letter! Does it really take you so long to find and type the letter ‘O’ that it is worth skipping it all together?

What, you ask, is worse than people texting in acronyms? People talking in texting acronyms. When people say “lol” or “plz” aloud. Why? You are actually talking to me in person, just speak like a person. How often do you have to use those acronyms for it to be more natural to say them than to say the real words?

Once, we were doing a video call with a group of our friends in Canada on Google Hangouts. So we were talking to our friends semi-in-person and one of them thought that it would be fun to start texting us on the iPad while talking on the video on the computer. So I was texting with her and I said something funny so she texted, “lol”. Lol means ‘laughing out loud’, I said, out loud, that I could both hear and see her on my computer screen and I knew for a fact that she was not laughing. I think that even if you decide to use the acronyms, you should use them properly. I told her that she couldn’t use lol if she wasn’t actually laughing and suggested that she use a new acronym instead, limh. Laughing in My Head. You know, when something is funny and you smile and you want to let the person know that you thought it was funny, but you didn’t actually laugh out loud so you can’t use lol? Use limh. My friend actually started using limh instead of lol after I told her that, and she started yelling at her friends who use lol way to often. The best part? limh has an ‘H’ on the end so is almost impossible to say out loud and have people know what you mean.

You know when using acronyms is cool? When they make sense, that’s when. Like Marvel’s S.H.I.E.L.D, (Which actually stands for Super Happy and Intolerable Lego Dudes {or Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division or Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate or Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division depending on which marvel thing you are looking at} But I like mine better). Do you really want to have to say, “Super happy and intolerable Lego dudes” every time you mention it? No, it’s much easier to just say shield. Do you want to say, “Please” every time? Yes. You don’t need to make it shorter, it’s already only one syllable.

To all those who have weird grammar-freaky friends who constantly correct them, I’m sorry.

My friends know that I am a grammar freak and, through much mockery and yelling from me, have gotten much better at using real words. Though some of them really have to work on their spelling (sorry).

To my friends whom I have made an example of (you know who you are), I apologize, even though it’s nothing you haven’t heard from me before. And I hope you know this isn’t just about you guys, it’s everyone.

If you have gotten this far through my ranting, thanks for putting up with me, and please start/keep using real words.

Coherently yours,